youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
