I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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