dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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