After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I will be naked everywhere
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize