is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
