North Korea, Best Korea!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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