Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
