On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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