Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
