please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
