Sry I called you an 8
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
