So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize