He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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