my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
