you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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