therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
