So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
