Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
