why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
