I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
