yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
