this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
