she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
