Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
