We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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