Sponge bath it is.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
