do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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