He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
