READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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