Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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