dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
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