Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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