I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
