they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
