How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
