Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize