Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
