i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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