God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
