i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
