Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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