just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize