Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
