we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
