I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
