My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize