I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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