These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
