my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
