Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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