small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
