I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
tell me about the eggs
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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