My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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