He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you told grandpa to call you daddy
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
