Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There r osticjed everywhere
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My breasts were aching with rage.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
