More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
