my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
