Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
