Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
so much tequila, so little girl.
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