Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize