Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
