I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
