i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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