Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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