I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
