i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
