gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
